It's like God shit irony all over that family
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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