i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
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