the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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