Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
