she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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