you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
