We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
