omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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