In the future we'll all be gay
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
