The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
