Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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