after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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