i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
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