Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
