i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
