Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
