you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize