thus making me awesome and them whores
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Ladies don't puke and tell
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
