Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he was CRYING into my vagina
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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