I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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