Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
