I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Randomize
