My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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