literally had 100 drinks last night.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
