when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Life without a bra equals bliss.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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