dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
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