just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
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