No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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