Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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