I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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