I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
