I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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