Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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