420 ftw
I accidentally had phone sex last night
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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