please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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