okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
