Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
