what if every blade of grass was a penis?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
