Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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