Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
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