Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
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