I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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