weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize