Just cropdusted the office
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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