Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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