So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.