weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN