I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
