I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Randomize
