Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
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