So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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