Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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