My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
