The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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