How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
