i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
The adults are the big ones right?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
