you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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