I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize